A Grade

CLEVE v PORTS…Johnathon Welch, George Torbay, Iva Davies and Charli Delaney would have been mortified - the Cleve A Graders may be able to play football but they definitely ain’t no choir.

The singing of the club song after Saturday’s victory against Ports was so far out of tune that Gary Rex’s dynameter was rendered useless, with one exception – Trav George – no surprises that he then got the chocolates when it came to “don’t forget the lyrics” later in the night.

Cleve was bolstered by the inclusion of Pat Jenner, Nathan Gillings and Darren Allen, while Ports’ horror run with injuries just got worse – Mick Miller being the latest on a long list. The Bombers neutralised Ports in the first half before an almost unrecognisable ‘Chompy’ Masters opened their goal account shortly after the long break (his hair hasn’t been that short since 1964 – the same year Dora Quinn bought his first Herb Albert and The Tijuana Brass Band LP).

Whatever the origins or significance of ‘Dogga’ are I don’t know – but Jimmy Jess Kenny Play, sure can. It’s all double dutch to me.

‘Jane’ Seymour (two goals) was providing some headaches for the Port Defenders as were Dylan Jenner and Pat Jenner who snagged three a piece.

At the other end of the ground the Cleve defenders were again in good form. Ned Saunders, Trav George, Blake Nield, ‘Rowdy’ Leonard and ‘Ginger Minge’ Claxton seem to have forged an ultra reliable partnership, although the ‘Minge’ defected late in the game to go forward and kick a goal – he also missed an absolute soda – some respite for those in his round later on.

For the visitors Dion ‘Diesel’ Whittle, ‘Magic Raikiwasa’, Luke ‘Dohnt do it’ and Dale Peters were prominent, as was Tom Davey who showed glimpses of his potential with a couple of nice goals.

Cleve 14-13 (97) d Ports 4-9 (33)